Tom Cruise sci-fi from the TRON: Legacy director — so, you know, beautiful but boring. Pretty, dumb, derivative garbage movie.

James McAvoy and Rosario Dawson dance to house music for two hours! JK, that might be better, it’s like Memento with fine art. It’s KINDA interesting, but more in a way that you probably want to watch it when you have a few hours to kill on a plane. Or watch some old Friends episodes instead. Your call.

The Lords of SalemEverywhere
Rob Zombie’s latest torture porn, it’s IN YOUR FACE and you know, Rob Zombie.

The SapphiresEverywhere
Hey, this looks kinda good! How often do I say that? NOT ENOUGH, HOLLYWOOD. It’s about a girl group of Australian Aboriginal ladies who go out to entertain U.S. troops in Vietnam. It’s sweet, funny, and above all, entertaining. Plus, it’s really hard to go wrong with Motown.

Or you could just stay in all weekend and watch Hemlock Grove on Netflix. Famke Janssen in a moody horror show? YES PLZ.

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I love animals and food!

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