Weekend Watch: Her, Lone Survivor, and The Legend of Hercules

Weekend Watch: Her, Lone Survivor, and The Legend of Hercules

Her – Everywhere Spike Jonze’s latest is about a sulky, sullen writer (Joaquin Phoenix) who falls in love with his computer’s highly advanced OS (sexily…

Weekend Watch: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Saving Mr. Banks, and Holiday Wurlitzer

Weekend Watch: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Saving Mr. Banks, and Holiday Wurlitzer

Holiday Wurlitzer Extravaganza – Castro, Monday at 7:30pm A festive holiday concert featuring resident Castro organist David Hegarty—plus 17-year-old concert organist Nahri Ahn and three…

Weekend Watch: Out of the Furnace and Midnight Labyrinth!

Weekend Watch: Out of the Furnace and Midnight Labyrinth!

Out of the Furnace – Everywhere It stars Christian Bale as a worker at a local steel mill who dreams of becoming a dancer OH…

Weekend Watch: Blue Is the Warmest Color Or The Best Man Holiday?

Weekend Watch: Blue Is the Warmest Color Or The Best Man Holiday?

The Best Man Holiday – Everywhere A big, boring holiday film that you’ll love if you like big, boring holiday films and probably won’t love…

Weekend Watch: Thor: The Dark World, Great Expectations, and Dallas Buyers Club

Weekend Watch: Thor: The Dark World, Great Expectations, and Dallas Buyers Club

Thor: The Dark World – Everywhere I HEARD THAT THOR AND LOKI MAKEOUT. JK, that was just my vagina day-dreaming. Anyway, this sequel to the…

Weekend Watch: Carrie, The Fifth Estate, and Escape Plan

Weekend Watch: Carrie, The Fifth Estate, and Escape Plan

Carrie – Everywhere Judy Greer and bloody tampons. I’m pretty sure this didn’t need to be made since the original is so great, but I…

Weekend Watch: Captain Phillips, Machete Kills, Romeo and Juliet (Again)

Weekend Watch: Captain Phillips, Machete Kills, Romeo and Juliet (Again)

Captain Phillips – Everywhere This time the Tom Hanks Oscar vehicle is a merchant marines ship that’s about to be boarded by some Somali pirates….

Weekend Watch: Gravity, Runner Runner, and Another Metallica Movie

Weekend Watch: Gravity, Runner Runner, and Another Metallica Movie

Gravity – Everywhere Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are set adrift in the hellscape of space in this Alfonso Cuaron masterpiece. Not only is it…

Weekend Watch: Don Jon, Rush, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2

Weekend Watch: Don Jon, Rush, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs: 2 – Everywhere I don’t know, it’s some shit about food raining from the sky? Oh, actually, maybe I’m…

Weekend Watch: Prisoners, Battle of the Year, and The Wizard of Oz in IMAX 3D

Weekend Watch: Prisoners, Battle of the Year, and The Wizard of Oz in IMAX 3D

Prisoners – Everywhere Hugh Jackman’s kid goes missing and Jake Gyllenhaal is the detective charged with finding him. It’s a tense thriller and expertly realized…

Weekend Watch: Insidious 2 and The Family. It’s a Slow Week.

Weekend Watch: Insidious 2 and The Family. It’s a Slow Week.

The Family – Everywhere Luc Besson’s “off-beat comedy” about the mafia! I hope there’s a paramour! And Milla Jovovich! Actually, I know there’s not, so…

Weekend Watch: Adore, Riddick, a Movie About Burning Man (Because That’s What You Need In Your Life. More Burning Man.)

Weekend Watch: Adore, Riddick, a Movie About Burning Man (Because That’s What You Need In Your Life. More Burning Man.)

Adore – Kabuki Robin Wright-Penn and Naomi Watts play two Australian old hagathas who fall in love with each other’s hot surfer sons. Sounds really…

Weekend Watch: Closed Circuit, Getaway, and One Direction: This Is Us in 3D (Cue Screams)

Weekend Watch: Closed Circuit, Getaway, and One Direction: This Is Us in 3D (Cue Screams)

Closed Circuit – Everywhere YOU WISH this was a sequel to Short Circuit, but then you’d be dreaming too big. Instead, it’s another lukewarm international…

Weekend Watch: The World’s End, The Mortal Instruments, and You’re Next (SO SCARY)

Weekend Watch: The World’s End, The Mortal Instruments, and You’re Next (SO SCARY)

The World’s End – Everywhere A bunch of childhood friend white dudes who decide to indulge in a drinking marathon and then discover their hometown…

Weekend Watch: Lee Daniels’ The Butler, Kick-Ass 2, and Jobs

Weekend Watch: Lee Daniels’ The Butler, Kick-Ass 2, and Jobs

Kick-Ass 2 – Everywhere A super violent sub-par sequel to the super violent sub-par original. It’s weirdos in costumes fighting about bullshit and nobody cares,…

Weekend Watch: Elysium, The Spectacular Now, and Meet the Millers

Weekend Watch: Elysium, The Spectacular Now, and Meet the Millers

Meet the Millers – Everywhere Jason Sudeikis attempts to stay relevant post-SNL. You can see him die in every scene. No, jk, this is a…

Weekend Watch: The Smurfs 2, 2 Guns, and Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen’s S.F. Movie)

Weekend Watch: The Smurfs 2, 2 Guns, and Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen’s S.F. Movie)

2 Guns – Everywhere Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington star in a police action buddy comedy film blah blah blah. Sloppy, illogical, and fairly entertaining…

Weekend Watch: The Wolverine, Girl Most Likely, The To Do List

Weekend Watch: The Wolverine, Girl Most Likely, The To Do List

The Wolverine – Everywhere The Wolverine comes tearing into theaters to claw its way up the charts! SEE WHAT I DID THERE? God, it was…

Weekend Watch: Turbo, The Conjuring, and R.I.P.D.

Weekend Watch: Turbo, The Conjuring, and R.I.P.D.

Red 2 – Everywhere Bruce Willis stars as Another White Man in another white man-led action-comedy buddy movie sequel that doesn’t need to exist. Please…

Weekend Watch: Pacific Rim, The Hot Flashes, And Peaches Christ Presents The Craft!

Weekend Watch: Pacific Rim, The Hot Flashes, And Peaches Christ Presents The Craft!

The Hot Flashes – Kabuki It’s like that movie — Old Hogs? Old Dogs? You know, the one with Tim Allen and John Travolta and…

Weekend Watch: Long Ranger, Despicable Me 2, and Ricky Jay

Weekend Watch: Long Ranger, Despicable Me 2, and Ricky Jay

Despicable Me 2 – Everywhere Sequel to the 2010 animated hit film about a villain and his little yellow minions. Now, the villain is back,…

Weekend Watch: The Heat, White House Down, SOMM

Weekend Watch: The Heat, White House Down, SOMM

The Heat – Everywhere There’s a lot of pressure on this movie — it’s got to pick up where Bridesmaids left off and prove that…

Weekend Watch: World War Z, Monsters University, and The Bling Ring

Weekend Watch: World War Z, Monsters University, and The Bling Ring

World War Z – Everywhere Oh hell yes, a real summer blockbuster starring Brad Pitt and an asston of zombies. I’m gonna go see this…

Weekend Watch: This Is the End, Man of Steel, and Pussy Riot!

Weekend Watch: This Is the End, Man of Steel, and Pussy Riot!

Man of Steel – Everywhere It’s the new Superman movie, and you’re either gonna see it, or you’re not. If you do see it, you’re…

Weekend Watch: After Earth, Venus and Serena, Now You See Me

Weekend Watch: After Earth, Venus and Serena, Now You See Me

After Earth – Everywhere What’s that? You don’t hate M. Night Shyamalan yet? You’re willing to give him another shot? Well then this is the…

Weekend Watch: Fast & Furious 6, Epic, and The Hangover III

Weekend Watch: Fast & Furious 6, Epic, and The Hangover III

Fast & Furious 6 – Fast & Furious 6 Because the lord loves our lovely and illustrious Editor and Publisher Eve Batey, she released this…

Weekend Watch: Star Trek Into Darkness, The Iceman, and Stories We Tell

Weekend Watch: Star Trek Into Darkness, The Iceman, and Stories We Tell

Star Trek Into Darkness – Everywhere The first one was great fun, and this one is not disappointing. Wunderkind — or Wundermiddleagedbro — J.J. Abrams…

Weekend Watch: Oblivion, The Lords of Salem, and Trance

Weekend Watch: Oblivion, The Lords of Salem, and Trance

Oblivion – Everywhere Tom Cruise sci-fi from the TRON: Legacy director — so, you know, beautiful but boring. Pretty, dumb, derivative garbage movie. Trance –…

Weekend Watch: 42, The Company You Keep, And, Yes, Scary Movie 5

Weekend Watch: 42, The Company You Keep, And, Yes, Scary Movie 5

42 – Everywhere The story of baseball player Jackie Robinson and Brooklyn Dodgers GM Branch Rickey’s fight to allow a man of color to play…

Weekend Watch: Evil Dead, Ginger & Rosa, Jurassic Park 3D ROWR

Weekend Watch: Evil Dead, Ginger & Rosa, Jurassic Park 3D ROWR

Evil Dead – Everywhere A remake of the 1981 horror classic about a cabin in the woods and demon possession. If you really need to…

Weekend Watch: The Host (Blah), G.I. Joe (Ugh), and Studio Ghibli’s Latest

Weekend Watch: The Host (Blah), G.I. Joe (Ugh), and Studio Ghibli’s Latest

From Up on Poppy Hill – Trailer from The Kennedy/Marshall Company on Vimeo. From Up On Poppy Hill (Kokurikozaka kara) – Sundance, Embarcadero Hayao Miyazaki’s…

Weekend Watch: Spring Breakers, Admission, and Animated Prehistoric Nic Cage

Weekend Watch: Spring Breakers, Admission, and Animated Prehistoric Nic Cage

Spring Breakers – Everywhere It’s like Point Break in that it involves a beach, pretty people, and there’s hella robbery; and it’s not like Point Break in that it’s not the…

Weekend Watch: The Call, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and Stoker

The Call – Everywhere Halle Berry, a grizzled 911 Operator, gets a call from Abigail Breslin, who’s been kidnapped by the coke-fueled ghost of her…

Weekend Watch: Emperor, Oz, and a Serial Killer Comedy Road Trip (???)

Emperor – Everywhere Does Tommy Lee Jones have Bell’s Palsy? Because I don’t think that dude can smile anymore. Something happened to him; please look…

Weekend Watch: Jack the Giant Slayer, Phantom, & 21 and Up

Jack the Giant Slayer – Everywhere Directed by Bryan Singer, and written by about 15 people, it’s a 2013 IN YOUR FACE version of the…

Weekend Watch: Snitch, Dark Skies, and Bless Me, Ultima

Snitch – Everywhere An action thriller starring Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson as the father of a son who’s wrongly accused of being a terrible no…

Weekend Watch: Beautiful Creatures, Die Hard 52, and Charlie Sheen with a Job (LOL)

Beautiful Creatures – Everywhere It’s a thoughtful, fun, and complex Twilight-esque fantasy adventure about witches and warlocks. It’s a sexy teen romp that knows what…

Weekend Watch: Identity Thief, Side Effects, Top Gun in 3D IMAX (Of Course)

Identity Thief –

Weekend Watch: Oscar Nominated Shorts, And The Most Delightful Film of the Year

In Another Country – Opera Plaza Cinemas Three different stories about three different French women named Anne, each of whom is visiting South Korea, and…

Weekend Watch: Hansel & Gretel, Movie 43 & Quartet

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters – Everywhere It’s the time of year when either nothing is released, or the crap that studios know don’t hold…