Rock of Ages – Everywhere
This is like a…bear with me here because I’m confused…but I think it’s a rock musical told through 80’s hits and starring…Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones? And directed by one of the judges of So You Think You Can Dance? I think if you’re gonna see this, you better be so shitfaced that you can’t stand-up and walk out because it looks SO BAD. But also, if you’re so shitfaced that you can’t stand-up and walk out? SING-A-LONG! Rain says “Rock of Ages is about as entertaining as watching someone else play ‘Rock Band’ for two hours,” here’s her review.
Your Sister’s Sister – Everywhere
Warm, quirky romcom mumblecore thing about two adorable white people just getting to know each other in a lake cabin and finding love and living life and being adorable and mumbling and having feelings and being white and it’s all so charming!
The Girl from the Naked Eye – Everywhere
It’s an action film about a dead prostitute. I am seriously tired of seeing prostitutes killed in films… can’t we get more Fish Called Wanda’s up in this b!? Or at least a movie that’s not like LADIES ARE WHORES KILL AND AVENGE THEM MEN ARE POWERFUL. Yawn, for reals.
That’s My Boy – Everywhere
You know what woulda made this great? If Adam Sandler had played the dad and the kid! He’s getting really good at that, you guys! But you know, I think if you’re gonna see this movie, nothing I can say will dissuade you, and if you’re not gonna see this movie, nothing I say will turn you off, so really, TTYL.