Rock of AgesEverywhere
This is like a…bear with me here because I’m confused…but I think it’s a rock musical told through 80’s hits and starring…Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones? And directed by one of the judges of So You Think You Can Dance? I think if you’re gonna see this, you better be so shitfaced that you can’t stand-up and walk out because it looks SO BAD. But also, if you’re so shitfaced that you can’t stand-up and walk out? SING-A-LONG! Rain says “Rock of Ages is about as entertaining as watching someone else play ‘Rock Band’ for two hours,” here’s her review.

Your Sister’s SisterEverywhere
Warm, quirky romcom mumblecore thing about two adorable white people just getting to know each other in a lake cabin and finding love and living life and being adorable and mumbling and having feelings and being white and it’s all so charming!

The Girl from the Naked EyeEverywhere
It’s an action film about a dead prostitute. I am seriously tired of seeing prostitutes killed in films… can’t we get more Fish Called Wanda’s up in this b!? Or at least a movie that’s not like LADIES ARE WHORES KILL AND AVENGE THEM MEN ARE POWERFUL. Yawn, for reals.

That’s My BoyEverywhere
You know what woulda made this great? If Adam Sandler had played the dad and the kid! He’s getting really good at that, you guys! But you know, I think if you’re gonna see this movie, nothing I can say will dissuade you, and if you’re not gonna see this movie, nothing I say will turn you off, so really, TTYL.

Turn Me On, DammitEmbarcadero
This is a Norwegian girl’s version of Portnoy’s Complaint mixed with a little Ghost World, and it’s insane and awesome.

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  • Greg Dewar

    Time Cop.

  • Greg Dewar

    Time Cop.