Ted – Everywhere
Mark Wahlberg meets and marries a Teddy Ruxpin. Or is a man-child who can’t grow-up and is bff with a talking stuffed animal. It’s one of those two, I’m not TOTALLY sure. Looks pretty funny-terrible. I’ll see it a few times because we all should support the sadly underrepresented genre of films about men who just can’t grow up. Seriously, why are they never in theaters?? It’s like Hollywood is run by loving women and rich Catholics!
Magic Mike – Everywhere
Steven Soderbergh film about male strippers. My only sadness regarding this film is that Chris Farley isn’t still around to star in it. Well, that and I will NEVER ever be able to spell Steven Soderbergh without Googling it. That said, I’m gonna see this at least five times. Rain says it started out great, then got derailed by “‘Consequences’ with a capital C.”
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection – Everywhere
Seriously, this man is a GENIUS. If I were a 1/10th as awesome as he is, I’d have already skinned my body and sold it to him as a fat suit for his next film–I want royalties!!
People Like Us – Everywhere
It’s a dramedy about human relationships and the fragility of life and the importance of family. It’ll take you through the range of human emotions and shit you out the other side feeling like you’ve been beaten over the head with REAL PEOPLE FEELING THINGS. Lots of talking and good acting and it’s charming and sweet, but it just made me tired.
Pink Ribbons, Inc – Opera Plaza
Put down your copy of Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor’s Soul and get ready to feel less awesome about all those $60 pink soy candles and breast cancer awareness vibrators you own. This documentary about breast cancer awareness run amuck is a major eye-opener and angry-maker. Who woulda thought that commodifying a disease and depoliticizing a cause would be such a bad thing??? Oh, wait.
To Rome With Love – Everywherei
Mediocre Woody Allen film starring Alec Baldwin and time travel. Wasn’t his last movie just Owen Wilson and time travel? I’m so confused. Anyway, looks not super great so maybe just wait for the one to come out on