Men in Black 3Everywhere
Will Smith hasn’t done a movie in 50 years because he’s busy being married to a lesbian and building a house on top of a house, and then this is what he does? OK, I’d totally do the same thing but the point is, I’M A WOMAN! Anyway, you’re only going to see this if you love the Men in Black movies and then: Have at it, weirdo! Rain was sort of “meh’ on it, here’s her review.

A comedy starring Maggie Gyllenhaal about vibrators in the Victorian age. SOLD! Violet saw it at SFIFF and was not very impressed, here’s her review.

Chernobyl DiariesEverywhere
Yet another Blair Witch rip-off. The novelty factor is gone and they’re not really scary, so why are we still making them? If this is the future of fake independent movies, I’m just gonna see Men in Black 3 twice.

Whores’ GloryLumiere
A documentary about Anne Heche’s vagina. PSYCH! It’s a super sad movie about prostitution. I’ll totally see it, I love learning everything about sex workers so I can be more liberal than you are. I completely believe in the decriminalization of prostitution and I wonder if this is going to be like EVERY PROSTITUTE IS A CHILD SLAVE and then that’ll bum me out because I’m more liberal than you are.

Nightmare Alley & The Warriors double featureCastro
Two hilarious scary(-ish) (but mainly hilarious) films back-to-back, it’s my movie pick of the week! To see drunk!

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