What was once the annoyance of NoisePop in February will be now taken over by the 10th anniversary of Litquake (for which I’m told the Appeal is a “sponsor,” whatever that means) from October 9-17th.

Litquakians will flock the places you normally eat and drink, and will be filled with people who care about words and literature and poetry. Use this information as you may.

The week will all start with an opening ball on Friday, where you can dress up as your favorite author and pay $20 for a beer and a bite of food. I bet for those of you who are lonely literarians, you can maybe find a cuba libre to compliment your freshly-combed beard and flannel (it is dress up, after all).

Here are my choices for what or what-not to attend

Saturday, October 10

There’s a bunch of memoirs, poetry, university linguists, and other boring NPR-ish stuff throughout the day.

Hemlock Tavern (6 – 8pm): If you can wade through the sausage-fest that is the Hemlock, there will be readings and music at Chaos is a Friend of Mine. It’s about music, it’s early, and it’s $5.

Sunday, October 11
If you are one of those freaks who actually gets out of the house on Sundays, and/or is
interested in genre-writing, science, and essays, here’s your day.

Makeout Room (7pm): Some people call themselves the new up and coming writers, and you can listen to them masturbate for free.

Monday, October 12
Have the case of the Mondays? Then get down to business, and learn you how to get published and become famous.

Broadway Studios (8pm): Journey to the End of the Bay: Punk Rockers Spill Their Guts has many punk rock people talking about punk rock. But the event is $15 ($30 with food!), which isn’t very punk rock.

Tuesday, October 13
Tuesday is really boring. Do your laundry for the week.

Wednesday, October 14

Herbst Theatre (8pm): Amy Tan will be receiving the Barbary Coast Award with a celebratory roast, and it’s going to be a big shindig with famous writers and music. It’s $25 or $75 if you want to attend the post-event reception.

Thursday, October 15
Supperclub (5 – 8pm): Readings in Bed: A Sensuous Night will satisfy your loin-lust as authors, such as Violet Blue, talk dirty in real beds. $10 suggested donation, wipes not included.

The Booksmith (7:30pm): The annoyingly cute tiny-voice of Sarah Vowell will be reading. She’s a hoot.

Verdi Club (9pm): Hear writers swordfight for approval in another Literary Death Match. $15.

Friday, October 16
Chrome (8pm): People who don’t shower and have no manners – this one’s for you. Not only can you win a free bag – you can hear your fellow peers talk about zines in
Underground Exposed (doesn’t that make it not underground? And if you say it’s underground, then it’s not underground. I’m taking a deep breath here). Overpriced Pabst will be on sale (assumption! call for more info).

Saturday, October 17: Litcrawl

Saturday is a whole other beast with Litcrawl. Most bars in the Mission will have Litquake going-ons so watch out roommate havin’-fixie ridin’-insecure Missionites, people who ride words instead of bikes will be taking over!

All the fancy food street carts will be out for your eating pleasure. And most events are 21+ for your drinking pleasure.

Litquake will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake by having three phases of events:

The Lab (all ages): Contrary to popular belief, bloggers do read and bloggers do write. Therefore, the most important event of Litcrawl is the one hosted by internet queen Eve Batey (jesus, Katie! – EB) and clever genius of Brock Keeling. It’ll be a breath of fresh air for people because it’s about blogging and not poetry or dead print.

SFist and SF Appeal Present: Collisions on the Information Superhighway will have “performances” by the horribly unforgettable cuteness of Katie Ann, the young beauty of Ramona Emerson, the dashing Phil Bronstein, the funny Matt Baume, the kind Christine Borden, and the boyish charm of Tag Savage. No swordfights or circle jerks in attendance.

OK, so if you hate the internet, there are other cool things to see. Such as people re-enacting interviews (The Dark Room), people reading about meat (Bar Tartine), and people reading about food (18 Reasons). Snore.

Clarion Alley has an open mic where you can tell embarrassing stories (*pss – it’s called the internet*) to people in an alley. You must submit your name before 7:15pm.

Borderlands Books: I have a zombie in my life, do you? If you don’t, then head over for Zombie-Fest: Tales of Urban Fantasy.

826 Valencia: Awww…. baby birdies will sing in Young Voices .

Here are some other haps: Opium Live! (Amnesia),  “wicked” prose (Modern Times), and “spontaneous” writings (Elbo Room).

This phase showcases many ethnic writers too.

Laszlo Bar: My 18 year-old self who was obsessed with sideshows and self-proclaimed “Freaks” is psyched to watch audio-visual selections from the book Modern Primitives from the people at RE/Search.

Cafe La Boheme: “Sounds Like Crazy” sounds interesting. Topics to include Russian ghosts and Appalachian bar mitvahs – all moderated by a shrink. Zany!

Anthony’s Cookies: I’m not normally a fan of poetry. Haiku Poets of Northern California is the only poetry event I will mention. Because it’s IN A COOKIE STORE.

This phase seems dominated by travel writing and travel writers who I know nothing about.


Phew, I’m wiped out! And I skipped on many, many, many events. I will direct you over to the very frustrating website for more information, events, and times. All events I’ve noted are free, unless noted.

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