It’s my birthday this week, and yet it seems TV programmers have not interrupted their regularly scheduled programming to air nothing but my favorite movies and a non-stop “Community” marathon. How dare they!

Guess I’ll just have to make do with the usual trash. Like the premiere of “Bad Girls Club: Las Vegas,” which just seems like a recipe for even more disaster than the show usually delivers. 10 P.M. on Oxygen.

But even better, and possibly trashier, is the season finale of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” which has, this season, become my favorite of all the “Housewives” shows. Not much can top last week’s episode, in which the housewives, in various states of sobriety, and an amazing amount of drama-ridden hangers-on, showed up at the opening of Lisa Vanderpump’s new restaurant SUR, (which, and I kid you not, stands for “Sexy, Unique, Restaurant”). But if anything could top it, it just might be the wedding of her daughter Portia, which is the main attraction tonight. 10 P.M. on Bravo.

On Tuesday, January 24th, the President’s State of the Union address is mucking up most primetime programming, but things get back to normal on Wednesday the 25th, which includes the premiere of Kiefer Sutherland’s new drama, “Touch,” which sounds like a cross between “Numb3rs,” and the Asperger’s storyline on “Parents.” Sutherland stars as the father of an emotionally-challenged kid who is able to see patterns where others can’t. 9 P.M. on Fox.

Meanwhile, over on CBS, Marg Helgenberger is ending her tenure at “CSI.” Tune in to see if it will end in death, or the chance for multiple returns to the series for some Very Special Episodes. 9 P.M. on CBS.

On Friday, January 27th, the spy comedy “Chuck” comes to an end. Unfortunately, I gave up on the show a few seasons back, but was still glad the series got the reprieve the fans has been hoping for. Angus McFayden and Linda Hamilton guest star. The two-hour series finale starts at 8 P.M. on NBC.

Syfy’s weekly made-for-crappy-TV movie this Saturday, January 28th, is Swamp Volcano, about a giant volcano that suddenly shows up in Miami. But seriously: haven’t we all had enough of Florida at this point anyway? 9 P.M. on Syfy.

On Sunday, January 29th, awards season continues, with the “Screen Actors Guild Awards.” Natalie Portman, Ed Helms, and Julianna Margulies are amongst the promised presenters. Watch it live at 5 P.M. on both TNT and TBS.

Finally, over on HBO, is the premiere of “Luck,” a new David Milch drama about horse racing starring Dustin Hoffman. I don’t know about you, but Hoffman on a TV series seems like quite the get! Plus, Michael Mann directed the pilot episode, and Mann’s longtime muse Dennis Farina has a supporting role. And look! Nick Nolte’s in it too! How come more people aren’t talking about this show? 9 P.M on HBO.

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the author

Rain Jokinen watches a lot of television and movies and then writes things about them on the Internet. She's a San Francisco native, and yeah, she'll rub that fact in your face any chance she gets.

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  • Brock Keeling

    “Bad Girls Club: Las Vegas” is what will get me through this winter safe and sound.

  • Brock Keeling

    “Bad Girls Club: Las Vegas” is what will get me through this winter safe and sound.