Did you know the networks have already aired “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!,” “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town,” AND “It’s a Wonderful Life”? I mean, why should you? Good grief, it’s only December fifth, after all!
Luckily, some of those will be repeated, (for instance, you can watch “Grinch” on the Cartoon Network on Wednesday at 7:30 P.M.!), and you have a chance to catch another holiday classic tonight, as ABC airs “A Charlie Brown Christmas” at 8 P.M. Watch it for the sad Christmas tree, that awkward moment when Linus takes the stage, and of course, the dancing.
Meanwhile, over on Sundance Channel, at 8 P.M. and 8:30 P.M., is the premiere of “The Mortified Sessions,” a kind of interview show in which celebrities talk about their most awkward youthful moments. Tonight features Ed Helms, Mo’Nique, and Eric Stonestreet. (Turns out, all that clown stuff on “Modern Family” is based in fact!)
Ho, ho ho, but don’t think you can escape Christmas just yet, as Tuesday brings us “A Michael Buble Christmas” at 8 P.M. on NBC, and even though I find him rather dull, and he reminds me of a bag of marshmallows, (so fluffy! So white!), the special will feature appearances by Tracy Morgan and Oscar the Grouch. (And OK, Justin Bieber too, but that’s what remotes are for.)
I’m sure everyone has been waiting anxiously–smizing on the edge of their seats, as it were–to find out who will be crowned the winner of “America’s Next Top Model: All Stars.” Thankfully that wait will come to an end on Wednesday at 8 P.M. on the CW. (And if Allison doesn’t win, I’m gonna go pot ledom on Tyra’s ass.)
The fate of “Community” remains grim, but for now, let’s just be thankful that it’s still around, because the show tends to knock it out of the park with holiday episodes. This year, the gang has to perform in the holiday pageant when the glee club is shut down. Expect lots of “Glee”-bashing, which, in my opinion, can only be a good thing. Thursday at 8 P.M. on NBC.
Also on Thursday is perhaps the best of all the Rankin-Bass Christmas specials, “The Year Without a Santa Claus,” which you can watch at 9 P.M. on ABC Family. Nothing beats those Miser brothers. NOTHING.
Including “Frosty the Snowman,” which I will admit is one of my least favorite of the Rankin-Bass TV specials–I prefer their earlier, animagickier shows–but that doesn’t mean I let a year go by without watching, reliving that horrible moment when–SPOILER ALERT!–Frosty melts. Man, but that depressed the hell out of me when I was a kid. Experience the sadness Friday at 8 P.M. on ABC CBS.
Syfy isn’t letting this season pass without at least one ridiculous Christmas-themed TV movie, hence we have the premiere of “Snowmageddon.” “Snowmageddon”! About a magic snow globe that wreaks disaster whenever its shaken! “Snowmageddon”! Watch it at 9 P.M. on Saturday.
(SNOWMAGGEDON!)
Finally, on Sunday, A&E premieres the miniseries “Stephen King’s Bag of Bones,” which, strangely enough, is based on the Stephen King book “Bag of Bones.” (Actually, that book is one of his better offerings, and I was genuinely spooked by its ghost story.) Pierce Brosnan stars as a widowed writer who retreats to a lake house to deal with some writer’s block. Ghosts should cure that!
It’s directed by Mick Garris who, for better or worse, (mainly worse), knows his way around a Stephen King adaptation. (See: “The Stand,” “Sleepwalkers,” and the “The Shining” miniseries.)
Part one airs at 9 P.M., and part two airs Monday at the same time.
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