There’s nothing that gets a San Franciscan going like a good old-fashioned art walk. People in other cities are probably under the mistaken impression that there are better things in the world like sex, tater-tots, and Scarlett Johannson being single again (can you imagine if she had changed her last name to Reynolds? Holy shit. The mind reels.)
But these things don’t even hold a Golden Globe to the awards show that is walking around and looking at art while drinking free wine and eating crackers that you don’t even want.
Last week, I discovered that at the Divisadero art walk you are actually allowed to go into stranger’s houses on the pretense that you’re interested in their paintings of inspirational seashells. Of course, once you get in it can be difficult to tell what is art and what is a pair of Tom’s shoes sitting next to a Maltese.
That’s basically the point of going, that and the opportunity to practice your Art Appreciation Face, an expression that’s equal parts bad smell and being unsure whether the approaching figure is a cop or Russell Brand. Which is a great face to master if you ever plan on being wealthy, and you totally do or why the hell else would you be going to art walks?
We haven’t even gotten to the freaking Mission Holiday Block Party Art Walk. Have you ever sat in the Harrington antique furniture galleria drinking free beer and thinking about buying a $40 candle holder? Have you ever had a guy approach you at Slingshot Gallery to say that your face has inspired him to break up with his mopey girlfriend?
These are the kind of things that happen at art walks in San Francisco. People get crazy whimsical.
They start thinking about quitting their day jobs and getting a serving gig at Cafe Gratitude – where they can say the word “gig” without killing their chances of ever being in a healthy relationship. During the days they will paint the shit out of murals and work on a novel and sob in happiness because they’re 24-years-old, and today that is just the best answer to every question there is.