Boobs are so amazing that even gay men can’t help but ogle a pair and give them a friendly squeeze. Yes, this is a why-boobs-are-so-cool column. Why? Because I have boobs, I love boobs, and I feel sorry for those who do not have reasonable access to them.
Of course, not everyone spends most of their days thinking about breasts. For some women, fondling is a requisite activity…for their partners’ benefit. Some women wonder why men love their globular mounds of fat so much. I tell you they’ve already answered their own question. Fat is delicious (despite our society’s current vendetta against it).
Some groups–like breastfeeding advocates and topfreedom activists–lobby for the desexualization of breasts. Sure, boobs may not be essentially sexual, but you know there’s got to be some Freudian explanation to all of this, ahem, titillation.
“No one,” Sigmund Freud wrote in his Infantile Sexuality essay, “who has seen a baby sinking back satiated from the breast and falling asleep with flushed cheeks and a blissful smile can escape the reflection that this picture persists as a prototype of the expression of sexual satisfaction in later life.”
In other words, the mother figure (and her bosoms) teaches the child how to love and, yes, how to seek a sexual connection. Breastfeeding, Freud argued, is the first form of intercourse we experience. Does that mean that bottle-fed babies lack a healthy appreciation for boobs? Not necessarily, but you’ve got to admit that Freud has a point with the whole nourishment/pleasure thing. We’re taught to consume breasts, starting with nursing and then painfully progressing to clandestinely checking out an ample rack.
For a lucky few, boobs provide more than just double takes. The numbers differ on this one, but it’s possible for a small percentage of women to orgasm from breast stimulation. I repeat, you can make your lady friend come from JUST TOUCHING HER BOOBS.
Even if you’ve never experienced or induced a boob orgasm, the consensus is that boobs are fun. We’re all human here, and we really can’t resist something so squeezable, jiggly, wobbly, firm and yet soft, warm, and tender. So you can take the Freudian analysis if you want, but I’d be willing to bet that most adults are not thinking about their own mothers when they’ve got boobs on the mind. Or on their hands. Or in their mouths.
Image from SonniesEdge.
The Sexual Manifesto is Christine Borden’s weekly column on sex in the city, sex and culture, and, well, sex. Got a tip for Christine (and it’s not in your pants)? Email her at christine@sfappeal.com.
