broadwaybares1.jpgMr. Schu doesn’t take me seriously. And now my mom knows why.

Matthew Morrison, the hella closeted dude that plays the straight Will Schuester on FOX’s Glee, which is admittedly one of my stories, gave a rather bizarre interview to Elle Magazine that we saw via this great SF Weekly blog post.

The liberated ladies (actually, the interviewer was a man) of Elle asked Mr. Schue to name the highest number of sexual partners a woman could have and still be taken seriously…by him.


Four (4).

Four? Seriously? Suddenly I feel like a goddamn tramp. I’ve always regarded myself as a bit of a prude. I won’t go into the myriad of ways I’m totally not a slut, but trust me when I tell you, four is unreasonable.

Somewhere in heaven, Mother Theresa is like, “What the fuck? Four? Bullshit.”

Matthew Morrison makes a big point of telling everyone that he’s straight. And that’s awesome, I love straight men, good for him. But no straight man in his 30s could possibly expect a woman to have a “magic number” that low. It’s…well, shit. It’s impossible.

I’m not saying this total lack of any kind of grasp on the sexual realities of heterosexual women makes Mr. Schu a homosexual. I’m just saying the whole interview reads like Rock Hudson telling the papers what he looks for in a lady friend.

And again, while I suspect this actor to be closeted and don’t really care what he is anyway, he’s telling women how many sexual partners they can have and still be attractive to him, which is interesting, since none of us have penises.

It was a stupid question. Really, Elle, why not just ask, “How big do her boobs have to be?”

But somehow, instead of saying, “That’s a stupid question,” Matthew Morrison managed to answer, “A small C.”

Thus, not that I ever really liked Mr. Schu that much anyway, me and my apparently loose morals can’t take him seriously.

And that’s how Spots C’s it…

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