Have a question about the many peculiar habits of the modern hetero dude? Ask a Straight Guy is your chance to pose those burning questions to the Appeal’s straight-guy-in-residence. Kindly direct your hetero-curious questions to: ask.the.straight.guy@gmail.com, because straight guys are deep and meaningful people too.
Why do you all rove around clubs in those striped shirts?
A cheap shot! We don’t all wear striped shirts, you know. The good ones wear superior patterns like plaid.
But to answer your question: striped shirts (particularly those of the narrow, vertical variety) are the perfect medium between corporate casual and casual-casual. (You can thank straight guys everywhere for making that a necessary distinction.) The trick is to find a shirt that looks too casual for a job in Inside Sales and too fancy for bottle service at a Lake Tahoe Casino nightclub.
I would love to tell you that the goal is to show we’re classy without being stuffy, but really we’re probably just trying to hide a beer gut. This is still preferable to the alternative: showing off our bicep diameter with an upscale t-shirt.
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