Remember when that super creepy guy confessed to killing JonBenet Ramsey (never forget) and then it turned out he made the whole thing up? Well he’s back in the news!

Or rather, SHE’S back in the news. The former John Mark Karr is now Alexis Reich. And Alexis is allegedly threatening to kill her internet friend/former pupil, Samantha Spiegel.

Turns out, Alexis met Samantha when Samantha was nine and Alexis was Mark, and was then teaching at a ratsy tatsy girls school right here in our beloved San Francisco. Years later, they developed an “intense” relationship over the internet. Alexis is not only nuts and violent, but apparently has followers all over the country.

First of all, doesn’t “Alexis Reich” just sound like the kind of name this guy would pick? A little bit Dynasty/80’s glamour, a little bit white supremacist? Sound familiar? And of course, OF COURSE, he’s threatening to kill his former student/Skype BFF. This all makes perfect sense to me.

What I do not understand is this apparent collection of “followers” strewn around this great nation of ours. Is Alexis like a e-cult leader, swiveling around on a Staples discount office chair in the Seattle battered womens’ shelter she’s reportedly living it while confidently dishing our instructions and threats to lonely, confused and crazy Friendster users?

All s/he did was falsely confess to being a murderous pedophile. How does this work? It all seems so dawn-of-the-internet to me. Is there a chat room? Prodigy bulletin board? AOL group I might sneak a peek at?

Because I’m familiar with John Mark Karr’s bold aesthetic of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite meets my manicurist. Quite frankly, I’d really like to get a load of Alexis Reich and what I assume will involve a sequined-shoulder pullover.

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