Whenever I go to the ballet I am amazed by what the young women wear (by young I’m talking 40 and below).

They’re either in jeans or full-on slut attire. No in between! Seriously, no middle ground. Not even “dowdy.” It’s either no effort at all or complete whore.

I’d think something as elegant as the ballet would inspire some elegance in dress, right? But I am wrong!

I’m completely confused that people who would spend their time and money on something like the ballet wouldn’t be able to navigate an outfit that took effort but doesn’t make them look like they’re ready for a twenty dollar quickie behind the dumpster.

One must wonder, who are these women’s style role models and influences? I look at a lot of this season’s fashion and runway photos and there’s plenty of elegance there. Also, classic depictions of beautiful women are mostly tasteful.

Maybe these ballet goers are just looking at celebrities. I’ll admit it, there is a frightening lack of elegance amongst them.

The only two young stars I could think of that have any elegance are Carey Mulligan


and Emma Stone.


The rest are all hooker






I know older women have been complaining about how younger women dress forever, but I can actually see these women’s vaginas. (I also know I’ve bemoaned this before but it’s traumatizing!)

I can’t say it’s not hysterically entertaining to look at how these women decide to dress for a night of culture. But I grew up in the 70s and 80s, and I was hopeful that the influence of feminism might convince women to demonstrate qualities beyond that of a dick garage.

From the outside, it looks like these girls have no self worth unless they’re an appealing place for a guy to park his wiener.

I want more for them!

the author

Babe Scanlon is a writer living and working in San Francisco. She's worked as an archaeologist, computer game designer, agent at Agent Provocateur and hypnotherapist. She is controlling your mind at this very moment.

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