Thor: The Dark WorldEverywhere
I HEARD THAT THOR AND LOKI MAKEOUT. JK, that was just my vagina day-dreaming. Anyway, this sequel to the hit original flick about a comic book god set loose to defend the planets/Natalie Portman’s science papers. It’s supposed to be super good and also Tom Hiddleston is in it, so I’ll be seeing it. If you see a fat redhead making out with a screen, don’t hesitate to say hi!

Great ExpectationsEverywhere
You know the drill — a humble orphan suddenly becomes a gentleman with the help of an unknown benefactor. Helena Bonham-Carter is Miss Havisham so you know that shit is gonna be amazing. If you want to get all English this weekend but don’t want to be bored out of your fucking mind, check it out!

Dallas Buyers ClubEmbarcadero
This is the one that Matthew Mcconaughey lost like a thousand pounds for. His vital organs were literally starting to shut down, so it’s a good thing the movie is supposed to be great! You don’t want to starve yourself to blindness to be in a piece of shit. Anyway, he plays real-life Texas cowboy Ron Woodroof, whose free-wheeling life was overturned in 1985 when he was diagnosed as HIV-positive and given 30 days to live. Life fucking sucks and is super sad and this is probably a must-see and bring a hankie or a significant other to cry into.

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