The World’s EndEverywhere
A bunch of childhood friend white dudes who decide to indulge in a drinking marathon and then discover their hometown is overrun by evil robots. Granted, it’s the same white dudes behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz so if you liked those movies (and I did), then you know this one is going to be a fun time. Plus, you gotta give it up to these English blokes for conquering the Hollywood machine and doing their own thing, and so yeah, it looks entertaining as hell, but WHY OH WHY couldn’t there be SOME gender or ethnic diversity in the cast? I mean, even just for the sake of me being able to tell them all apart — right now, I just call them “the adorable fat one and then the other dudes and oh wasn’t he in Star Trek??”

The Mortal Instruments: City of BonesEverywhere
Unintentionally hilarious (not actually — that is too high a compliment) Twilight rip-off. Not even worth hate-watching. That was harsh, but you deserve the truth.

You’re NextEverywhere
Oh man, this looks so scary I don’t even want to write about it! Basically, a bunch of murderers descends upon a family reunion home-invasion-style and start chopping heads/bodies/everything/everyone — but there’s a twist and I can say no more and it’s oh so damn creepy and let me make sure my doors are locked WHAT IS THAT SOUND. Rain loved it so much she saw it twice (Eve dug it too), here’s her review.

Ain’t Them Bodies SaintsKabuki
A moody, romantic flick that takes place in 1970s Texas Hill Country. So, that’s the movie, but it’s actually pretty watchable. If you’re looking to class it up on a date/trick someone into seeing a romantic romance film, take them to this.

Goofy mediocre rom-com about a woman who is obsessed with Jane Austen — so much so that it changes the course of her life. You can tell the same story but with me and Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos. It’s sweet and worth a watch, but you might want to go by yourself on a Tuesday night so you can binge-eat in the back of the theater and cry about love and life and a world so unjust that Keri Russell is considered an awkward looking weirdo.

Scenic RouteEverywhere
Josh Duhamel and Dan Fogler in a road trip dramedy? They laugh, they fight, they get lost in the desert. Just watch Thelma and Louise instead and send me candy and flowers and a hundred bucks as thank you.

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