This whole waxing your pubic hair thing has to be a shortlived fad, right?

People have told me “It’s cleaner!” I have to wonder, have they heard of soap? Ripping out your pubic hair so that your ladyparts are “cleaner” is like having your arm amputated so that your arm pit will be cleaner.

I just can’t imagine ripping all the hair off my vagina for someone. If the guy I’m with wants to sleep with a prepubescent girl he should go to jail, not to my private parts.

Seriously, men will fuck mud. I’ve had men who I respect highly tell me that. So if you have to wax your pubic hair to please a man sex-wise, there is something wrong with him. And for being with him? You.

Trust me, I know. I got waxed once and it was the most painful experience I’ve ever had, including abdominal surgery.

So instead of putting yourself through all that pain for some guy, learn to love yourself. Being single is awesome, if you get lonely move in with other single people. You can even marry a friend and adopt a kid if you want. THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS THAN BEING WITH A GUY WHO WANTS YOU BALD!!!

Anyhow, with my certainty that women will soon wise up and stop torturing themselves for damaged men, I hereby offer solutions to women while they grow out their natural pubic hair.

What says fun like a fake moustache?


Or “Come Play” like astroturf?


Or do you both like the 80’s? How about a salute to ZZ Top?


In any case, please stop sacrificing yourself for some weird fad and instead revel in your natural beauty.

Anything less is for pussies.

the author

Babe Scanlon is a writer living and working in San Francisco. She's worked as an archaeologist, computer game designer, agent at Agent Provocateur and hypnotherapist. She is controlling your mind at this very moment.

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