Despicable Me 2Everywhere
Sequel to the 2010 animated hit film about a villain and his little yellow minions. Now, the villain is back, and he’s nicer than ever. He’s got a daughter and he’s cleaning up his act honestly why am I even writing about the plot? You just want to know it’s a kids movie that they’ll enjoy and it won’t make you want to blow your brains out. Enjoy?? (Also, I will totally watch this twice in a row on a plane one day.)

The Way, Way BackKabuki, Metreon
A family comedy starring Steve Carell from the same people who brought you Little Miss Sunshine and Juno. I think that tells you everything you probably need to know. There will be a lot of swelling folk music to tell you how to feel and some genuinely funny moments and you’ll laugh and cry and feel all the emotions over some white people’s summer vacation.

The Lone RangerKabuki
Dumb, racist garbage movie that cost more to make than you’ll ever be worth in your life. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Kevin Hart: Let Me ExplainEverywhere
If you enjoy the comedian Kevin Hart — like, enough to watch him perform pre-recorded stand-up in a movie theater for a few hours — then go see this.

Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky JayOpera Plaza
It’s a movie about Ricky Jay, a world-renowned magician, author, historian and actor. He’s so magical! And exciting! I mean, what a character. He’s a Dionysian character, or maybe that’s not right, he’s whatever God is all about just fucking cutting loose and pulling rabbits out of hats. I cannot recommend this documentary enough, I’m gonna see it twice this weekend and then once a day until I figure out his tricks. Who’s with me?? I’m looking for a person willing to be cut in half, 15 pigeons, and a 3,000 gallon water tank. Get at me if you can help.

the author

I love animals and food!

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