The Call – Everywhere
Halle Berry, a grizzled 911 Operator, gets a call from Abigail Breslin, who’s been kidnapped by the coke-fueled ghost of her grandfather, Alan Arkin. Wait, no. But Berry does get a call from terrified Breslin, who was kidnapped by a killer from Berry’s past RUH ROH. It’s pure cinematic cheese, and I couldn’t get enough. Seriously, it’s so bad that it’s not the intended scary, and instead you laugh a lot. Recommended for the next time you’re on a plane!
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone – Everywhere
A comedy about dueling magicians starring Steve Buscemi, Steve Carell, and Jim Carrey. It’s got a few laughs, but mainly it relies on the charms of the three leads, and these three ain’t that charming. Just another movie with three white men acting their little hearts out to not much avail. Expect to see the same thing next week, and the week after that, and also the week after that! Yay!
Stoker – Everywhere
South Korean cult director Park Chan-wook’s debut English-language film is a fucked-up psychothriller that must be recommended (by me). It’s soooo creepy — starring Nicole Kidman playing the emotional, detached weirdo you suspect she is in real life. An unsettling southern gothic-style family drama involving a disturbed daughter, a detached mom, and a mysterious stranger I CAN SAY NO MORE. Go see it!
Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey – Kabuki
Do you guys think Steve Perry might be a big fucking racist? I do, but he’s not in most of this so you don’t have to boycott it. It’s actually largely centered around the band’s search for a new frontman, Arnel Pineda. It’s an easy morals documentary that’s edited to make you feel all the emotions about lovable dreamer Pineda. It’ll be on Instant Netflix soon enough, and then you can get all up in it.