SkyfallEverywhere
It’s Bond with emotional heft. He’s not the love ’em and leave ’em super spy, anymore — well, he is, but he’s also a trainwreck of an old dude at the end of his rope. It’s like James Bond, behind the music, when the boozin’ and usin’ has taken its toll. If you like to get deep, you’ll enjoy, but if you’re just looking for a man to bang Puss A’plenty (or whatever) and deliver zingers after killing a bad guy. If anything, the Sam Mendes directed flick is, of course, a little pretentious for an action spy movie HELLO SAM MENDES; but also, a change of pace, and so why not? Give your genitals over to the sexiest troubled lush of all time. Rain says the movie looks good, but is too long and lacks the Bond swagger of yore, here’s her review.

LincolnEverywhere
Daniel Day Lewis in the role of a lifetime! He acts his little heart out as the complicated, tall, butt ugly, brilliant, troubled 16th President. The Spielberg directed movie is all about his last months in office, specifically abolition of slavery, and it can be intense. But Spielberg is restrained and DDL is all in (what’s new?) and you know I’ll see this at least 15 times because LINCOLN SWOON. What do you think the odds are that DDL is still in character today? Applying a prosthetic nose every morning and taking a dirt bath? I’d say 90 percent. Doesn’t break character till the DVD commentary. It’s called ACTING.

The FlatEmbarcadero
An engrossing documentary about Nazis and secrets and Jewish families and 98-year-old grandmothers. Definitely gonna be a Spielberg movie one day so see it now so you can brag that you saw the documentary and therefore better than any idiot who just knows about the movie. Classless idiots.

A Late QuartetEmbarcadero
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Christopher Walken, and Catherine Keener in a not comedy about NYC’s chamber music scene. It’s about a string quartet and it’s very touching and pretentious and everything it sounds like it’d be when I wrote that it’s about the “NYC’s chamber music scene.” I’m gonna pass but if you want to be all fancy, have at it, fancy.

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  • Greg Dewar

    If you happened to miss Louis C.K. on SNL and his skit about the show “Lincoln” (get it? it’s like his show but about Lincoln) it was one of those rare moments when I a) watched SNL and b) laughed. OMG. GO SEE IT NOW.

    If you did, well then, you know what I mean.

  • Greg Dewar

    If you happened to miss Louis C.K. on SNL and his skit about the show “Lincoln” (get it? it’s like his show but about Lincoln) it was one of those rare moments when I a) watched SNL and b) laughed. OMG. GO SEE IT NOW.

    If you did, well then, you know what I mean.