In TimeEverywhere
It’s a watered down Logan’s Run, starring Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried as adults. The premise is pretty neat, it takes place in the future, when time is money, and so the rich live longer. Of course, one man fights back, and that’s our tale, but the film strays from this premise and becomes tame sci-fi stupidity. Still, kudos to all involved for trying something new, and also, to Timberlake and Seyfried because they act like adults very well. Here’s Rain’s review.

The Rum DiaryEverywhere
Johnny Depp reprises his roll as Hunter S. Thompson in this sort-of sequel to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It’s hard to tell where Thompson ends and Depp begins! Seriously, can anyone confirm that Johnny Depp is still capable of walking in a straight line? Or talking without a ridiculous affectation? I just want to see him playing an accountant or an office drone, ya know? Someone who exists in the world. Anyway, if you want to watch a cross-eyed Johnny Depp gallop around in circles for a few hours, here’s your weekend movie pick!

It’s the Davinci Code for Shakespeare! Directed by Roland Emmerich, the man who brought us Independence Day, 10,000 B.C., and 2012, so you know this shit will be 1) epic and 2) hilariously terrible.

Puss in BootsEverywhere
Antonio Banderas voices the title character in this movie you’ve already seen 15 previews for. Seriously, I haven’t seen a movie in two years that hasn’t had this many previews for it. Or billboards on the side of the road, right? Am I making this up? I just feel like it’s being very heavily pushed. And it’s supposed to be entertaining, so if you’ve got a kid who loves Shrek (and who doesn’t!), then you’ll probably see and enjoy it.

Oranges and SunshineEmbarcadero
Based on a super sad true story that involved the kidnapping and slavery of English children in Australia. WTF, Australia! It’s an entire continent of psychos! Although it doesn’t feel fair to call it a continent, when it’s really just a big island, but that’s Australia for you. Anyway, if you feel like crying about the sad state of everything this weekend, bring your handkerchief and some Ativan to Oranges and Sunshine.

OKA!Opera Plaza
Based on the life of ethnomusicologist Louis Sarno, a New Jersey man lived with the Bayaka, a group of nomadic pygmies in central Africa. One day, I hope to drive my boyfriend so crazy he does the same thing. But really folks, this one’s an inspring tearjerker, and the only people who should avoid it are cynics and racists.

Gainsbourg: A Heroic LifeEmbarcadero
You probably love Serge Gainsbourg, so you’ll see this. Me? I’m like, “Whatever, you boring-voiced, narcissistic Frenchie.” Oh, one neat thing, it totally stars Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex, Victoria’s Secret model Laetitia Casta, as Brigitte Bardot. I like to imagine that Leo dumped her and she was all, “Fuck you, movies are MY thing, homeboy!”

Halloween Spooktacular!Roxie
The Roxie is playing truly scary films all weekend long, and then you exit onto 16th Street, and think that everyone you walk past is a serial killer. Don’t worry, only half of them are. Happy Halloween!

French Cinema NowEmbarcadero New People
From Oct 27 through Nov 2, French Cinema Now brings the most significant new French films straight to our fat American laps. Because God knows, our obese asses can’t fit in the plane seats, anyway.

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