Tonight’s most hyped, and perhaps most anticipated new show, is on…
“Terra Nova,” 8 P.M.
What Is It?: “Land of the Lost,” but with better effects. It’s a Steven Spielberg produced drama set on a future Earth that has become inhospitable due to climate change. But luckily, time travel is possible, so people can travel back to prehistoric Earth, to try to start over, hopefully without fucking it up this time around.
Why To Watch: It’s the only network show that features people fighting dinosaurs!
Why To Turn the Channel: C’mon. Doesn’t it sound just a tad bit silly? I have a lot of questions that I hope will be answered in the pilot. Like, how bad does future Earth have to be for it to sound like a better option is to live in the jungle with dinosaurs? And how did they get those SUVs onto Terra Nova? And are they gas-powered? And how are they going to make gas if all the dinosaurs are still alive and haven’t turned into oil yet?
OK. Maybe I’m just over-thinking it. Machine guns and dinosaurs woo!
“Hart of Dixie,” 9 P.M.
Why To Turn the Channel: You cared not for “The O.C.,” and fish-out-water comedies full of bad fake Southern accents make you want to tear your hair out.
“Gossip Girl,” returns at 8 P.M. At the end of the last season of “Gossip Girl” I realized I had watched the entire season, but could not tell you what happened to any of the characters. I think this year, I’m not even going to pretend to pay attention. Instead, I will TiVo it, and then fast forward through the entire show, just so I can see all the outfits everyone is wearing. Because really, that’s all the show has become for me: A weekly animated Vogue spread.
Melissa McCarthy just won an Emmy for her work on “Mike & Molly,” which returns at 9:30 P.M. But I think everyone knows she really won it for her work in the movie “Bridesmaids,” because as great as she may be, not even she can make this sitcom rise above mediocre.
And finally, “House” returns at 9 P.M. And this year, House is going to be a completely normal and nice guy.
Kidding! He’s still a jerk.