Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3DEverywhere
Shia LeNOPE. But seriously folks, DO NOT SEE THIS. It only encourages them to make more of these horror films! Do not reward bad behavior! If your kid set your house on fire, would you buy him a Corvette? Because that’s basically what you’re doing when you see these movies. Except worse, because these movies burn down your SOUL. Think about it.

Larry CrowneEverywhere
Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks cruise around like tools on a scooter in a movie not even my parents want to see. And my mom’s favorite movie is Miss Congeniality 2, you feel me? Here’s what Rain thought.

Mr. NiceLumiere
Rhys Ifans plays Howard Marks, a real life accidental marijuana king pin. It’s a leisurely stroll through 1960’s-1980’s drug culture and will leave you chanting LEGALIZE! LEGALIZE! LEGALIZE! Or maybe that’s just me? Oh no, wait, it’s David Simon, too. LEGALIZE!

Page One: Inside the New York TimesBridge
Behind the scenes at the New York Times so really, just for anyone who enjoys insider baseball stuff. I can tell you right now that the Appeal runs in quite a similar fashion, with Eve Batey as our own David Carr. BATEY PUT ME ON THE FRONT PAGE AND I’LL BUY YOU A $1 MARGARITA AT HAPPY HOUR TONIGHT AND I’LL WALK FRANNY FOR A WEEK. And that, folks, is how it’s done.

Monte CarloEverywhere
It’s The Prince and The Pauper with tweenage sluts. I will totally see this and love it. Plus, it stars Justin Bieber’s beard and Blair Waldorf. It’s like God made a movie just for me!

Documentary about happiness and seeking it and finding it and not finding it and needing it and etc. Obviously everyone in San Francisco should see this, and yet only about 50 of us will. Such is the charm of this whiny, bitchy, sad sack city of ours!

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I love animals and food!

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