ballot_pot.jpgHow should I vote on Prop 19? Because I’m too stoned to figure it out.

Here’s a handy cheat sheet, with help from a source so involved in the marijuana industry that he had to remain anonymous in order to give me his uncensored opinions:

Vote NO on Prop 19 if you are: the owner of a mom-and-pop dispensary, part of a Mexican drug cartel, or Meg Whitman.

Some of the people who are most opposed to Proposition 19 — and who are driving a lot of the misinformation that’s currently out there, according to my source — are dispensary owners, particularly smaller ones.

Right now they’re making lots of money because marijuana is still illegal under federal law and difficult to obtain under local law, kind of like how bootleggers worked during the Prohibition Era. If marijuana becomes legalized, these people will lose the profits they’re making now.

“To be honest, I think their money is blood money,” my source told me. “It’s like war profiteering. If you have the opportunity to legalize marijuana and you vote no because you’re making money, that disgusts me.”

Mexican drug cartels also hate the idea, obviously, because if marijuana is taxed and regulated there will be no financial incentive for people to risk doing business with them.

I threw Meg Whitman in as a joke. But you know what I mean. If you’re into “family values,” you probably don’t want to legalize pot. But then you wouldn’t be stoned reading this, anyway.

Vote YES if you are, well, anyone else.

I was under the impression that recreational pot users were anti-Prop 19, because legalization equals taxes and taxes equal more expensive pot. But I was wrong!

“I would definitely say if you’re a recreational user you should 100% vote ‘yes,'” my source said. “There is absolutely no way it won’t be cheaper. Even if Prop 19 means a 20 percent tax, prices will go down, let’s say from $80 an eighth to $20 an eighth. That’s only $24 with tax.”

Venture capitalists are also eager for marijuana to be legalized, so they can start cutting serious deals with pot growers. Many CA politicians, both liberal and conservative, support the measure because our state is in BIG financial trouble and the taxes would help.

Tim Lincecum supports it, too, I’m sure.

There you have it! Hope we helped. Now go watch some funny YouTube videos or something.

Think of “Ask the Appeal” as your own personal genie: no Bay-related question is too big or too small. Whether you’re concerned with a municipal question, a consumer advocacy issue or simply with consuming alcohol, email us your questions at (or, find answers to past questions here). We’ll either do the dirty work and talk to the folks in charge, contact an expert in the field, or – if your question is particularly intriguing or juicy – develop it into a full-blown investigative article.

Please make sure your comment adheres to our comment policy. If it doesn't, it may be deleted. Repeat violations may cause us to revoke your commenting privileges. No one wants that!