“World Fare, America’s first official bustaurant, opened its doors in Los Angeles this past March. “- Salon.com

Like Brangelina and the maltipoo, a Bustaurant is a portmanteau out of L.A. Unlike Brangelina it doesn’t mean a combination of incredibly hot people and thousands of children, but a combination of a restaurant and a bus.

Now, if there is one thing San Franciscans like (and if you read this column you know there are only like two things) it’s polarization. For a San Franciscan there is nothing like the juxtaposition of love and hate, and there are no two things that produce these divergent emotions to such a degree as buses (the most hated things in SF) and restaurants (the most loved).

This is a recipe for cognitive dissonance like San Franciscans have never known: I love restaurants, but I hate buses, and now they are the same thing? Where do I turn? A food-cart? No seats! A restaurant where they don’t even try to do anything except serve good food? Do those places even understand what a restaurant is?

In L.A., bustaurants are housed on nice open-topped tour-like buses, but NO San Franciscan would be caught dead on one of those, so here the bustaurant will be on the Muni: The 71L Haight-Noriega Limited to Ferries Bustaurant.

When hostages or ‘guests’ as they will soon be called board the bus they will immediately handed their pre-tweet-ordered meal which will consist of a selection of BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE favorites including*:

A PLEASE HOLD ON sandwich which must be eaten with both hands, and either house-made STEP DOWN! fries, or an ELDERLY AND PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES artisan cheese selection.

As they eat, guests will enjoy a lurching view from their plastic bucket seats while they rub shoulders and knees and everything else with strangers, or as we say on the bustaurant, new Facebook friends.

Occasionally, the bustaurant will stop for no apparent reason at all, and everyone will be asked to get off, and wait for the next bustaurant to come by. This second bustaurant is typically where guests will enjoy their final course, a MUNI ROUTE AND SERVICE CHANGES dessert, which is a jell-o cup that must be shared by 35 people and is only served every three days.

*menu is subject to change without warning, and it is not guaranteed that food will be on it.

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  • Greg Dewar

    the moment I saw the headline I knew you’d totally do this subject justice!

    ps: I was thinking of renting a vintage streetcar and remake it into a party car like we used to have in the olden days. people would have dinner on a private car (with drinks) and go to the opera. the practice ended when the conductors got loaded and crashed the car!

  • Erik

    “The Muni”. Southern California native spotted.