As you well know, notoriously edgy footrace Bay to Breakers is being run this
Saturday Sunday. And by “notoriously edgy” I mean that people do things during the race that, if done in a non-race setting, might get them arrested. So what behavior will the SFPD be cracking down on? They’ve helpfully sent a memo to members of the media telling us. Wanna hear?
“Public drunkenness and public urination.” Aw, man! I know. But they say they will have a “zero tolerance” policy for both, and that “police transport wagons” (the preferred term over the ethnically loaded “paddy wagons,” I assume) are ready to cart you off. Note: No word on public defecation. I say go for it!
“Wheeled objects and floats.” You were supposed to register that shit, dummy. If you didn’t, you’re out of luck. If you did, remember, you have to start at the starting line — “No wheeled object or float will be permitted to join the race along the route.”
Kegs and bottles I’m not totally clear on this one: SFPD says they have “coordinated with race organizers to remove kegs and bottles of alcohol from the race course.” Does this mean litter, or are they wresting bottles and kegs from your drunkass hands? Readers, what do you think?
Finally, they cops use a bunch of exciting law enforcement lingo to let you know just how serious they are. They have ” prioritized enforcement responses,” as well as assigned “special enforcement police teams” to nail both law and race-rules breakers.
All that said, I’m sure you all can still find oodles of ways to have a good time during this race. So have fun, be careful, and for gods sake, put on sunscreen, especially, yeah, down there.