cucumber.jpg Not that the world needs another opinion on the great size debate, but let me indulge myself and offer a different, middling argument on the inches in your britches. Here’s the thing: it’s all about fit. (Note: all links below are NSFW.)

Is long dick better than thick cock? Curved or straight? Pointing up or pointing down? Ask any dicklover, and you’re going to get differing and even conflicting opinions on what makes the perfect one. Even size queens can’t all agree on whether girth or length reigns supreme.

So does size matter? Yes. Does big size matter? Not necessarily. Some bottoms want to be stretched, some want to feel how deep you can go, some want the perfect one for anal, some want something they can fit into their mouths. Some even want the smallest penis they can find to humiliate and chastise and otherwise consensually torture. Ahem. It’s not unheard of…and that’s why you can buy penis extenders at your local sex shop. And why it’s a recurring theme on’s Divine Bitches. Of course, not all men with small penises want to be humiliated, and there are bottoms out there who actually find a smaller penis to be a more comfortable fit. So there.

Men can have a lot of insecurities about what they’re packing, but dicks come in so many shapes and sizes and angles that it’s hard (ha ha) to say what’s “best” or what’s “normal.”

There’s bound to be someone who will love your dick for what it is. I’m sure they are lurking around the internet somewhere.

It helps, though, if you are open to trying new things in bed. Most heterosexual couples tend to view sex as penis-in-vagina sex, but the adventurous ones know the pleasure of introducing toys into playtime. And, you know, dildos aren’t just for her either.

Sometimes, worries about size and adequacy stem from this belief that the penis has to be a tool of pleasure for all parties involved, like in the case of PIV sex. But you don’t have to orgasm at the same time while your lover is inside of you–sometimes it’s hotter to take turns getting each off. In fact, the best sex is not always penetration, and some people prefer orgasms by oral stimulation. So don’t worry about your dick pleasing your partner; instead, think of ways you can please your partner. Stop pressuring the little guy! I’m sure your dick is wonderful and amazing and you’ll find someone else (or someone elses) who think the same way. You don’t have to send me pictures to prove it.

Image by Brother O’Mara.

The Sexual Manifesto is Christine Borden’s weekly column on sex in the city, sex and culture, and, well, sex. Got a tip for Christine (and it’s not in your pants)? Email her at

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