Did you know Bloodhound has a jukebox? I didn’t either. You can’t really see it in the back because of the permanent barricade of Bridge & Tunnelers, who like to stand in between the large rustic bar tables and the bar.

As I was getting my mason jar of Liberty Ale, I spilled some all over my shirt because how the hell can you sip with that kind of glass lip? Cleaning myself up and noticing one of the two TVs were on, which got my attention because I saw Peja Stojakovi?, MILF (man I’d like to fuck), and I haven’t seen him lately, wondered what he’s been up to, and what new team he’s on. I also have a few slots open in my library, and I needed to update his pic (if you know what I mean).

Why am I describing my lust for Peja instead of talking about the subject of this column? Because this jukebox is so boring that a basketball game on mute is more exciting.

Not only does the jukebox stick out in the Frontierland setting, with its flashy green bars and chrome exterior – its impossible to get to it through the crowd. While you’re navigating your shitty beer jar and saying “excuse me” nicely, because B&T’s are feisty when they drink, you’re also trying not to slip on their spilled drinks. Why can’t you just sit the fuck down?

So I navigate through the masses, unload my shit on the crate that’s next to the ATM which is next to the juke, which is in a hallway on the way to the bathroom. And then I stand and sigh.

Pixies, Blondie, Velvet Underground, Creedance, Bowie, Prince, Queen, Ramones, Outkast, etc. etc. All the very standard stuff.

I didn’t play a single tune, I didn’t even see how much it cost. I downed my Liberty as fast as possible, put on The Adicts on my iPod and walked to BART. This was the most exciting part of my trip.

What: Bloodhound (1145 Folsom Street @ 7th)

Good for: Not playing music; people who get really drunk and spill their drinks and lose their cellphones.

Bad for: playing music

Cost: doesn’t matter

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