Ever heard of the Reno Santa Crawl? Thousands of drunken folks dressed as Santa hopping from Reno watering hole to Reno watering hole in sweaty, smelly polyester Santa suits, groping each other and vomiting into filthy piles of snow?
Yeah, me neither.
Which is why I’m going!
That’s right. The Santa Crawl people are flying videographer Beth Hondl and me (“The Beths: We go out so you don’t have to.”) (on Southwest) to Reno, Nevada to film the festivities. I’ve even agreed to go skiing with these yahoos. I can see it now. Hundreds of men in women in various stages of Santa dress on the slopes as I scream into a microphone, “Get me the fuck out of here! This isn’t funny! I hate all of you!”
You know, I’ve always dreamed that one day, I’d get flown somewhere glamorous to cover swanky and select events, like royal balls in Paris or the running of the bulls in Pampalona. Well, that dream has come true.
If you’ll be in the Biggest Little City in the World on December 12th, let us know and I will gladly and gratefully invite you into my rescue chopper after I pull the inevitable Sonny Bono.
You’ve been warned…