Literary Death Matches are interesting because they’re so masturbatory, I like to attend just to feel the fellow sexual angst among the masses. But this one will be even better because it’s about the holidays! Let the masochism begin!

Hopefully it’ll be juicy like a turkey, but it might be grotesque, like tan old man chests, or grandma farts, or sad and depressing like the time I went to visit my great-grandmother’s grave, alone on Christmas, crying in the car while my then husband thought I just stormed out of his family’s house mad because the stuffing wasn’t to my liking.

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Photo of Beth: Julie Michelle, ilivehere:SF

This month’s readers will include veterans such as the amazing Beth Spotswood who has the ability to make you laugh and cry simultaneously, Elissa Bassist, who I like just based on the fact that she owns up to pooping (like all women should), and past losers like a guy named Derek Powazek, and the very womanly and beautiful Lynka Adams.

Whatever you may think of him, judging on Intangibles is Chicken John, and Performance — the Rumpus’ Isaac Fitzgerald.

Where: The Elbo Room (647 Valencia)
When: Doors at 6:30pm, Starts at 7:15
Cost: FREE this time!!

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