This will be my last movie post for a few weeks. I’m going to the UK to wander around. Wish me luck! Katie Ann will write whatever she damn well pleases while I’m gone. In the meantime check out some of these movie-related things happening soon. Or don’t. What do I care?

3rd I South Asian Cinema Festival — The Castro and The Roxie

See what they did there with the “I”? Clever, those South Asians. I have no idea what film festivals have to do with countries. You can have an Australian director living in Germany who’s making a movie set in England about Indian immigrants starring an actor born in Canada and it gets screened at a South Asian film festival in the U.S. Really what they mean is that the audience will include an inordinately large number of people from India. So look forward to that. Could be good stuff here.

November 5-6 at the Roxie; November 7-8 at the Castro. Festival website.

(Untitled) — Embarcadero Center Cinema

Watch the New York contemporary art scene get a light slap to the back of the head. I sat through it without playing videogames on my phone because I was hoping Adam Goldberg would go American Psycho on the rest of the cast. Alas, this is some tame commentary. Mine and theirs. A couple cute fashion jokes don’t do much to keep this this skinny movie out of the bathroom after a big meal. I did interview Goldberg and Marley Shelton though, who were very cool, so I guess this is where that link should go.

Writer/Producer Catherine Di Napoli In Person, Fri & Sat at 7:20pm. Also Director Jonathan Parker on Saturday. Info.

Taiwan Film Days — Opera Plaza Cinema

“This exciting three-day showcase highlights the best of contemporary Taiwanese cinema and provides Bay Area audiences with unique opportunities to view bold new Taiwanese films and engage with visionary filmmakers.”

Sorry I dozed off there for a second. I have no idea what’s playing here but the Taiwanese director Hou Hsiao-Hsien is the best thing since sliced bread…er…sticky rice. Since nothing by him is on the schedule this year, email me and I’ll let you borrow Three Times instead. November 6-8. Info.

The Box — Century Centre 9

Not to be confused with the excellent 90s techno track of the same name…Cameron Diaz sucks. Transporting her to the 70s does not help. Nor does pairing her with James Marsden. Cyclops. Luckily it looks like at least one of them dies by the end of the movie. I love when they act out my fantasies like that. This is Deal Or No Deal if Howie Mandel actually was the bend-the-spoon kid from The Matrix. Katie will review this on Friday but if it turns out half as good as The Game she better send me a Netflix note. Website.

The Men Who Stare At Goats — Metreon, (Fandango doesn’t say it, but it’s gotta be at the) AMC Van Ness (also)

I stare at cows. They’re like Mona Lisas. Whichever way I turn they’re watching me. Where I grew up that’s a direct challenge. I ice grill those bastards back while I slowly chew a burger. They started it and I never back down from a psychological standoff. Neither does George Clooney. I thought it was just charm, rugged good looks, and truckloads of pure gold that we had in common but there’s so much more.

This movie has gotta be some weird mix of Burn After Reading and Three Kings. So it’s either going to be marginally funny and boringly political or brilliant and feature Mark Wahlberg. Either way, 10 bucks isn’t that much to see Jeff Bridges as a drill instructor with a pony tail. Clooney and I always razz that asshole. Website.

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