If there is one thing that will grab a San Franciscan’s attention faster than a new brunch spot opening up around the corner, it’s a For Sale sign in front of a house.

Seeing a house that is for sale causes San Franciscans to become so overwhelmed by a doomed sense of love and longing that they realize they’ve never understood the Twilight books until this moment.

Then they will go home and spend the next several hours trying to figure out how long they have to keep putting in 60-hour weeks at Salesforce before they can afford the down payment on a house that is even

Please make sure your comment adheres to our comment policy. If it doesn't, it may be deleted. Repeat violations may cause us to revoke your commenting privileges. No one wants that!
  • Greg Dewar

    “This unrequited yearning for a stoop of one’s own is made a million times more unbearable by the fact that every single house on every single sun-drenched street in San Francisco is as adorable as a baby Pomeranian cuddling a kitten, while licking a duckling, and looking at a baby otter.”

    Brilliant. Always like your writing but this latest one was particularly entertaining and awesome. Thank you for just being your awesome writing self.