Moments before arriving at Sugar Lounge I received a text that read, “I’m here. It’s so dead LOL,” from J, my reliable companion in light weekday drinking. She was waiting for me outside, and I think she thought we were going to go somewhere else, but we weren’t, which she soon found out when I told her so.

The bar was well-heated, dark, and lit with pink lights. Not the kind of place where one feels discouraged from taking their clothes off. The bartender told us the happy hour specials (4:30-7:30/all day Sunday). They were good: $3 beers and $4 well-drinks good.

Then he threw us a curveball, which J caught with her left hand. He offered us happy hour versions of their specialty cocktails for $5, and we stared open mouthed at the offerings on the board. I chose the mojito and J got something that was like a margarita only pink.

The bartender was nice, but seemed to be sharing some kind of inside joke about bars with one of the patrons. When J made the incredibly astute observation that “Not all candy is pink,” I almost sent her back up to make friends with the him as they both seemed to be in on something that I did not yet understand. She might have joined the inner circle of Sugar Lounge and never returned from Candy Mountain, had she not followed this with the comment that the place should be called Sugar Muffin Lounge, which offended everyone within hearing distance, which was me.

I had heard this place had free food, and was only slightly disappointed when I found that the only things left were carrots, celery, and cherry tomatoes. At one time there had been something that required a warmer, but that thing was all gone. As there were only 4 other people in the bar I concluded that this thing must have been either very good or very small, and I desperately wanted some of it either way.

That’s when I saw the tiered tray of fun-sized chocolate bars. I don’t know why they call the tiny size the fun one, but they do. I was staring hard when I noticed another tiered tray next to it filled with vibrant drink garnishes, and was suddenly confused about which one I could stick my hand into. Luckily, this is the only problem one is likely to encounter at Sugar, and for some people it’s really not a problem at all.

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