Tonight is the last night of packed season premieres, so let’s get right to them.

Showtime:

“Dexter” at 9 P.M. At the end of last season, Dexter got married and was expecting the birth of his first child. This season will no doubt focus on whether or not he can manage new parenthood with serial killing, always a tricky endeavor! John Lithgow is the season’s guest star, and he’s back to playing a baddie.

“Californication” at 10 P.M. Not having Showtime, this is one of those shows I chose to skip come DVD release time. Nothing I’ve read has lead me to believe that was a bad choice. Anyone care to disagree?

Fox:
“The Simpsons” at 8 P.M. Season 21 of “The Simpsons” kicks off with an episode written by and featuring Seth Rogen. He plays a fitness trainer trying to get Homer in shape for a role in a comic book movie written by the Comic Book Guy. Ha ha. Get it? Because Seth Rogen got all skinny for his role in The Green Hornet?

Am I the only one who is utterly tired of Seth Rogen?

“The Cleveland Show”
at 8:30 P.M. It’s a “Family Guy” spin-off…

“Family Guy” at 9 P.M. Hey, did you know an old blog post I wrote is currently the number one Google hit for the query “family guy hate”? It’s true!

“American Dad” at 9:30 P.M. See above.

CBS:
“60 Minutes” at 7 P.M. The news show’s season premiere includes segments on Bernie Madoff and the booming business of dead celebrities.

“The Amazing Race”
at 8 P.M. Tokyo is the first stop for the racers in the show’s fifteenth season premiere AND we’ve got two local teams to root for: Marcy and Ron, a couple in their early 60s, and Garret and Jessica, a dating couple in their 20s. On your mark! Get set! BICKER!

“Cold Case”
10 P.M. Dead people, unsolved crimes, and popular music.

ABC:
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” at 7 P.M. I think they should bring back the original version of this show, and force everyone who gets a home made-over to also get a facelift and boob job. For the entire family.

“Desperate Housewives”
at 8 P.M. Maybe the addition of Drea de Matteo will breathe some new life into the shrunken hollow husks that are the Housewives of Fictional County.

“Brothers & Sisters”
at 10 P.M. Will Tommy leave Mexico? Will Justin and Rebecca get back together, or break up for good? Will Kitty leave Robert? Will the answers to these questions be revealed during at least one family dinner party? (That last one is a solid “Yes.”)

the author

Rain Jokinen watches a lot of television and movies and then writes things about them on the Internet. She's a San Francisco native, and yeah, she'll rub that fact in your face any chance she gets.

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  • Greg Dewar

    Family Guy has kinda played itself out. Now it’s just an endless Moebius strip of quick cuts to bad jokes. The South Park takedown was spot on. I’m not sure we needed a spin off of it either.

  • Beej

    Family Guy has kinda played itself out.

    I’ll second that.

    American Dad ain’t so bad. It’s got more going for it than Family Guy. And Roger the Alien rules.

    As for The Cleveland Show? Too early to tell. But, I’m not holding out much hope.

    And yes, I’m tired of Seth Rogan, too.