Things are heating up in City’s investigation of the recent automobile fires, as the Fire Department has identified the arson investigators as its latest suspects.

According to Matier and Ross, the Fire Department has taken over the operation of a hidden video probe within the office responsible for the investigation.

Fire Chief Joanne Hayes-White might not agree with the ethics of the operation, but she is prepared to compromise her moral code on account of the investigators’ suspicions. “There [are] some outrageous things going on in that office,” she said, referencing a number of unauthorized credit card purchases, and a schoolyard schism that has erupted between rival investigatory factions.

Ultimately the tapes showed no evidence of wrongdoing, and as a consequence the arson investigators are fuming, and on the verge inner conflagrations.

And as the catty, backstabbing, “my approach to fire science is better than your approach to fire science” rivalry continues, the Carsonist safely plots his next victim.

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  • Matt Ghali

    I feel safer already!