funke.jpgSan Franciscans have long taken a ‘clothing optional’ approach to life, but with a new state law that bans nudity on California’s beaches, the optional part of that statement has been dropped.

A spokesperson for the Parks and Recreation Department asserts that law enforcement will “tread lightly to get compliance at first,” but then claims that the officers are “not in the business of hassling people,” which makes one wonder if he knows the definition of the words ‘hassling’ or ‘officer’.

Some officers are concerned that an unforeseen fallout of this new legislation on sun-bathing sans suit will be a resurgence of the tan line, but they are a minority and mainly only serve in a rather small division of the SFPD known as the Fashion Police.

Since federal parks are not affected by the new rules, most popular Bay Area beaches will remain naked friendly, and you can still be publicly nude during pretty much any San Francisco street festival, proving that if there is one character on Arrested Development who San Franciscans cannot identify with it’s Tobias Funke, because San Franciscans are never nevernude.

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