In a moment that could have been scripted by any one of the 18774828828 SF blog/site commenters who predicted this upon hearing about the Mayor’s move to the Haight, this morning’s M&R had this toward the (hee) bottom:


San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and his wife, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, finally moved into their new home in the upper Haight over the weekend – only to have someone promptly defecate and urinate on their doorstep.

We promptly dashed an email off to one of our only FOAFOGs (that’s Friend Of A Friend Of Gavin — sadly, that’s as close as we get), who responded “I was told they broke in and shit on the couches and it was a big secret.” When pressed, his only response was the quote Billy Madison, hence the clip above.

If our source is correct — and by NO MEANS are we saying he is — then it certainly makes one ponder M&R’s lead item today, on Supe Ross Mirkarimi’s concerns over the demands placed on Newsom’s security detail.

If someone can (and we didn’t say they did! IF!) break into Newsom Mansion and take a dump on the sectional, maybe the mayor needs more guarding, not less?

the author

Eve Batey is the editor and publisher of the San Francisco Appeal. She used to be the San Francisco Chronicle's Deputy Managing Editor for Online, and started at the Chronicle as their blogging and interactive editor. Before that, she was a co-founding writer and the lead editor of SFist. She's been in the city since 1997, presently living in the Outer Sunset with her husband, cat, and dog. You can reach Eve at eve@sfappeal.com.

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  • Plug1

    oh Eve, this is just plain excellent reporting.

    the post title, YouTube clip, “FOAFOG”, “taking a dump on the sectional” — all just absolutely brilliant and the cause of my current state of hysteric laughter.

  • Plug1

    oh Eve, this is just plain excellent reporting.

    the post title, YouTube clip, “FOAFOG”, “taking a dump on the sectional” — all just absolutely brilliant and the cause of my current state of hysteric laughter.

  • Eve Batey

    Aw, shucks, I do try. Credit goes to my source, though…he knows who he is.

  • Eve Batey

    Aw, shucks, I do try. Credit goes to my source, though…he knows who he is.

  • Larry-bob Roberts

    Sounds like Gavin’s got his first square in Haight Street Bingo:
    http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/pixel_vision/HaightStBingoa.jpg

  • Larry-bob Roberts

    Sounds like Gavin’s got his first square in Haight Street Bingo:
    http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/pixel_vision/HaightStBingoa.jpg

  • the_minimalist_route

    way to get “the scoop,” Eve!

  • the_minimalist_route

    way to get “the scoop,” Eve!

  • Plug1

    kudos to your source, but i’m talking about the writing. you’re not using ghost writers are you? nope.

    again — well done, Eve. after reading this a second time, i laughed for a second time.

  • Plug1

    kudos to your source, but i’m talking about the writing. you’re not using ghost writers are you? nope.

    again — well done, Eve. after reading this a second time, i laughed for a second time.

  • GlenParker

    OK this is some serious shit; We need to send in the CSI team to do a forensic analysis of that movement left on the couch. I have the feeling they will find that the loaf was deposited by a homeless vegetarian, possibly a vegan who ingested day-old salad scraps from the McDonald’s dumpster at Haight and Stanyan.
    Although our mayor and his wife might take it as an insult they should look at it no different than when your cat presents you with a dead mouse in your bed at five in the morning; a sign of affection.

  • GlenParker

    OK this is some serious shit; We need to send in the CSI team to do a forensic analysis of that movement left on the couch. I have the feeling they will find that the loaf was deposited by a homeless vegetarian, possibly a vegan who ingested day-old salad scraps from the McDonald’s dumpster at Haight and Stanyan.
    Although our mayor and his wife might take it as an insult they should look at it no different than when your cat presents you with a dead mouse in your bed at five in the morning; a sign of affection.

  • PatriciaA

    For Crissakes, how is it everyone else can have a bowel movement and I am still constipated!

    Sheesh, someone had enough excrement to do the couches those hidous white, gold leaf trim fainting couch had poop on it..

    I think that is called art…and Gwenyth Paltrow is going to sue for copyright infringement.

    I am still jealous even as I laugh all the way to the loo.

  • PatriciaA

    For Crissakes, how is it everyone else can have a bowel movement and I am still constipated!

    Sheesh, someone had enough excrement to do the couches those hidous white, gold leaf trim fainting couch had poop on it..

    I think that is called art…and Gwenyth Paltrow is going to sue for copyright infringement.

    I am still jealous even as I laugh all the way to the loo.