Leave it to Swiss Miss to pick out the only McMansion in all of San Francisco. In a city world renowned for its residential architecture (I just made that up, but come on, we must be), the Mayor and the Missus have selected something from Danielle’s development in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey.
Ashbury Heights, where I found myself lost on Monday by the way, is packed with gorgeous, timeless, shingled and tasteful classics surrounded by blooming hydrangeas and vintage, basketed bicycles. It’s like fuckin’ Nantucket up there and Gavin goes and hires Wayne Newton’s 8th wife to design a stucco, new-money, Vegas corporate housing property.
And my GOD, the inside! It’s like someone saw their aunt’s slideshow from a 1992 luxury motor coach, all-inclusive trip to Versailles and used that as the inspiration for what one hopes is merely interior staging. Please tell me the Mayor’s marital bed won’t actually rest below two, asymmetrical gilded fish-eye mirrors.
Think about this. Think about all of those breathtaking, modern or classic, huge or eco-friendly, brand new or charmingly Victorians homes you see in this city everyday. Imagine you had 3 million dollars and could pick any one you want.
Would you pick this shit?
No. Me neither…
Photo of “Where it all goes down” Susan McBride / Coldwell Banker