newsom new mansion 6.JPG

Leave it to Swiss Miss to pick out the only McMansion in all of San Francisco. In a city world renowned for its residential architecture (I just made that up, but come on, we must be), the Mayor and the Missus have selected something from Danielle’s development in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey.

Ashbury Heights, where I found myself lost on Monday by the way, is packed with gorgeous, timeless, shingled and tasteful classics surrounded by blooming hydrangeas and vintage, basketed bicycles. It’s like fuckin’ Nantucket up there and Gavin goes and hires Wayne Newton’s 8th wife to design a stucco, new-money, Vegas corporate housing property.

And my GOD, the inside! It’s like someone saw their aunt’s slideshow from a 1992 luxury motor coach, all-inclusive trip to Versailles and used that as the inspiration for what one hopes is merely interior staging. Please tell me the Mayor’s marital bed won’t actually rest below two, asymmetrical gilded fish-eye mirrors.

Think about this. Think about all of those breathtaking, modern or classic, huge or eco-friendly, brand new or charmingly Victorians homes you see in this city everyday. Imagine you had 3 million dollars and could pick any one you want.

Would you pick this shit?

No. Me neither…

Photo of “Where it all goes down” Susan McBride / Coldwell Banker

Please make sure your comment adheres to our comment policy. If it doesn't, it may be deleted. Repeat violations may cause us to revoke your commenting privileges. No one wants that!
  • PatriciaA

    I have a strange feeling this was subject of some “curb appeal” or “color splash” or maybe the Discovery channel’s “overhaulin” because this is an insult to style and the magazine Home and Garden.

    Seriously, there are at least 10,000 people homeless in SF that could have done a better designing job with an Maytag Washer Cardboard Shipping Box and Crayola markers.

    In fact maybe this place could be used as a Housing shelter…

    I feel sorry the kid on the way…

    you can just see the tyke taking her sippy cup full of cherry spritzer to that comforter alone…

  • PatriciaA

    I have a strange feeling this was subject of some “curb appeal” or “color splash” or maybe the Discovery channel’s “overhaulin” because this is an insult to style and the magazine Home and Garden.

    Seriously, there are at least 10,000 people homeless in SF that could have done a better designing job with an Maytag Washer Cardboard Shipping Box and Crayola markers.

    In fact maybe this place could be used as a Housing shelter…

    I feel sorry the kid on the way…

    you can just see the tyke taking her sippy cup full of cherry spritzer to that comforter alone…

  • generic

    I’m more confused than anything else. Like everyone, I assumed Team Newsom wanted a more “gubernatorial” staging ground for J-Sieb and the as-yet-unborn campaign prop. But this is just … mystifying.

    Is it possible? Could it be this is their genuine sense of taste? No no no no no it can’t be true.

    Gavin’s one redeeming feature, the one area where he could hold his own with Willie, the Getty’s et al. was his style, so undeniably urbane, so San Franciscan. And now? The Sopranos Holiday Inn?

    Gavin … dude … I don’t even know who you are anymore.

  • generic

    I’m more confused than anything else. Like everyone, I assumed Team Newsom wanted a more “gubernatorial” staging ground for J-Sieb and the as-yet-unborn campaign prop. But this is just … mystifying.

    Is it possible? Could it be this is their genuine sense of taste? No no no no no it can’t be true.

    Gavin’s one redeeming feature, the one area where he could hold his own with Willie, the Getty’s et al. was his style, so undeniably urbane, so San Franciscan. And now? The Sopranos Holiday Inn?

    Gavin … dude … I don’t even know who you are anymore.