Dear Babe,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months and I really like him. The only problem is that he doesn’t spend much time with me. I’ve told him that I feel ignored and he said he wants to spend more time with me but things haven’t changed. He’s always either working or playing basketball with his friends.

I think he’s the one so how do I get him to spend more time with me?

Lonely in Love

Dear Lonely in Love,

The most important rule of dating is this:

Ignore his words and believe his actions.

If he’s not spending more time with you, even after you’ve asked him to, it’s because he doesn’t want to. And if the time he gives you is not enough to make you happy, then it’s your responsibility to go find a relationship that does.

I will never understand why women think it’s reasonable to manipulate men. It’s disrespectful to both of you. If you really love someone you won’t want to manipulate them and if you really respect yourself you won’t settle for someone who you have to convince to spend time with you.

Buck up and move on.

Nagging questions holding you back? Babe Scanlon’s got your answer. A SF native, she’s been figuring this place out far longer than she cares to admit, and now she’s ready to share. Email her at babe@sfappeal.com and let the veil of confusion lift. Please do keep in mind: Babe Scanlon is not presenting herself as an expert in anything that means you can sue her or the Appeal if you take her advice and your life tanks. Her recommendations are just that: recommendations.

Image: Street Anatomy

the author

Babe Scanlon is a writer living and working in San Francisco. She's worked as an archaeologist, computer game designer, agent at Agent Provocateur and hypnotherapist. She is controlling your mind at this very moment.

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