Leno is hospitalized and so it falls upon me to provide America with its news in a witty fashion. Here goes. Americans are having so much trouble paying their mortgages because we’re spending too much damn money on our Netflix accounts. And apparently we won’t have to worry anymore about hostile attacks from oversees, as Obama’s rippling, shirtless magazine cover stands as a clear metaphor for America’s military might. Hmmm, I hear crickets, so I’ll just pass things on to culture and entertainment Friday, April 24th, 2009.
What did we miss? Let us know.