Leno is hospitalized and so it falls upon me to provide America with its news in a witty fashion. Here goes. Americans are having so much trouble paying their mortgages because we’re spending too much damn money on our Netflix accounts. And apparently we won’t have to worry anymore about hostile attacks from oversees, as Obama’s rippling, shirtless magazine cover stands as a clear metaphor for America’s military might. Hmmm, I hear crickets, so I’ll just pass things on to culture and entertainment Friday, April 24th, 2009.


Arachnophilia: The sequel they never made


Heaven comes calling for Reverend Timothy Wright.

Jay Leno hospitalized, Letterman theorizes top ten reasons why

Magazine cover stirs debate: hottest shirtless politico, Obama or Putin?

Oakland school gets unlikely visitor


DVDs: They make the recession go round

Disney’s latest environmental red herring


And the Oyscar goes to…

Turning beer into fuel far more beneficial than turning beer into urine


The latest pandemic coming to a population near you!

New York takes on salt


Reggae Rising

Gar(b)age Punk Fest

Dan Deacon rattles Great American Music Hall


Ever wonder how Homer got from the Nuclear Power Plant to Moe’s so damn fast?

What did we miss? Let us know.

Please make sure your comment adheres to our comment policy. If it doesn't, it may be deleted. Repeat violations may cause us to revoke your commenting privileges. No one wants that!