Everyday we are reminded of the criminals, both ruthless and obtuse, who litter our streets. Everyday we are reminded of the zealous bureaucracies chasing phantom nuisances, leaving tangible problems to rust and fester in plain sight. And everyday we give thanks to the nation’s contraceptive scientists who labor diligently to prevent any more conscripts from joining this misguided race. See what your everyday is like, this Friday, April 17th, 2009.

THIS MORNING’S TOP STORIES

Oakland cop killer nabs posthumous home invasion charge. ABC7, CBS5, CBS5, Chron

Lacking tangible suspects, renegade telecommunications giant brings the hunt to South Bay’s anonymous community. Ex, CBS5

Might want to skip that kidney transplant you had scheduled at Kaiser Chron, Ex

Goodbye Sandra Cantu. CBS5, IndyBay, Ex 2

FROM THE SF CHRONICLE

Dumb, dumb criminals

Meg Whitman pulls a Romney, sinks $2.8 million into her campaign for California governor

Same-sex marriage, the battleground shifts to New York.

FROM CBS5

Officials: “Clean up the stranded boat, what’s the rush?”

Long awaited upgrade to female condom in desperate need of new name.

FROM ABC7

Officials: “Clean up the floating whale carcass, what’s the rush?”

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